Everyday our lives are jam packed with things to do and places to go. Everyone is in a rush, either to get to work on time or to catch the school bus. Living in a world where it seems like everyone and everything is so fast paced, how much do we think about what is valuable to us? We now have so much technology to make our lives be so much easier, things that our parents never had while they were growing up. People waiting for hours in a line to get that new iPhone or iPod touch. People can have the internet in the palm of their hand and use it pretty much anywhere and anytime they want when they want as long as you have WiFi How many times in the course of a day, in a week do you think about what is valuable to you? Is what you find valuable an item or a moment?
I see it advertised whenever I am watching tv, I get emails about it from Apple. I hear about it being totally redone to make it be an even better phone. How the phone is thinner, how it has 4G and even new ear buds so you can listen to your music and have fantastic sound. It is the iPhone 5. I had always wanted an iPhone ever since seventh grade. I love listening to music and I thought it would be so great to have it on my phone so I don’t have to carry an iPod and my cell phone around with me( hopefully so that I have one less thing to lose). At the end of eighth grade, my mom and I were both seriously considering getting one. My mom told me I should wait since Apple usually has a new iPhone come out about once a year in the fall. I went home and looked up the iPhone 5 on my computer and I saw that it was set to be released in September. After learning about some of the “bugs” with the previous iPhones I hoped that this one would be a great one and could eventually be mine.
Now that I have owned the phone for a couple months I use it all the time. I use it when I get to school in the morning. My bus gets to school before 7 am and sometimes the wait for school to start can seem like it will take forever so having music that I love makes it all go by faster. I also use my phone when I am commuting back and forth from my parent’s houses. My Dad lives two hours away, in a town that is close to Boston. I use my phone for almost the whole two hour drive which makes everything go by so much faster. I love my iPhone and I really enjoy what I can do with it.
Although I value my iPhone I also value my Friday and Saturday nights are the best nights of my whole entire week. I look forward to them as I trudge through the sometimes very long week. I love to stay up late, and I really hate to go to bed early ( not to mention wake up early). On Friday and Saturday nights I feel like I can relax, and that I don’t have to do anything. I know that everything is done for the day and nothing needs to be done urgently. I turn on the TV load one of my many movies into the tray and wait to press play. I put the headphones on so I don’t wake anyone up with the sound of the movie and begin to relax. Some nights I don’t end up watching a movie, I end up watching music videos off of on demand for hours. I sit in my chair, and watch my dogs sleep soundly. Sometimes even my cat decides to join me in relaxing.Every once in awhile my dogs wake up for a little while , but usually fall back asleep pretty quickly. Around 2:30 or 3 am I begin to shutdown my TV and head up to bed.
My iPhone 5 and my Friday and Saturday nights are similar to each other. They both provide entertainment for me. My iPhone provides it through music and surfing the internet. My Friday and Saturday nights provide entertainment when I am watching movies. The one thing that my Friday and Saturday nights provide for me, that my iPhone doesn't is true relaxation. I enjoy listening to my music, but the places I listen to it in, I don’t feel like I can fully relax. Probably because the day isn’t close to nearing an end and it feels like there are still so many things that I have to do before the day is over. I value both my iPhone and my Friday and Saturday nights. On days where I just feel very stressed I really appreciate my Friday and Saturday nights. During my day though, I really appreciate the convenience of having my little source of entertainment in the palm of my hand.I love how fast the phone is and especially the internet speed. In my life these are some of the things that I truly value you the most.
1) This author is trying to say that she values both her iphone and her Friday and Saturday nights.
ReplyDelete2) I personally think that she described the priced item more then her priceless because there was way more detail about her iphone then her friday and saterday nights.
3) The overall strengths of this essay is having really good detail and a good story!
4) My advice to you is to go back into the story and make any corrections you see. But otherwise awesome job!
1.This author is trying to say that she values her iphone an shes been wanting it for awhile.
ReplyDelete2.I think she values her iphone more than anything because shes been dying for one for years.
3.The best strength i think is organization.
4.I loved this essay it was very good. Good job Kim. Theres nothing you should change in this essay its very well written.
1-the author is trying to say that there are a lot of things that valuable in our lives. she strongly values her Friday and Saturday nights.
ReplyDelete2-Of the two objects she described in this essay i thought was most vividly and clearly describes was when she describes her friday and saturday nights." On Friday and Saturday nights I feel like I can relax, and that I don’t have to do anything. I know that everything is done for the day and nothing needs to be done urgently. I turn on the tv, load one of my many movies into the tray and wait to press play. I put the headphones on so I don’t wake anyone up with the sound of the movie and begin to relax." I thought these few lines where describes really well, i love the way you know just know how she feels about Friday and Saturday nights she loves them and she lets the reader know that.
3-In general, one of this essay's overall strengths is the Introduction."What Do You Value? Everyday our lives are jam packed with things to do and places to go. Everyone is in a rush, either to get to work on time or to catch the school bus. Living in a world where it seems like everyone and everything is so fast paced, how much do we think about what is valuable to us?" i thought these few lines were really good and your intro really grabs the reader in your essay i liked how you asked question to let the reader think.
4- You may want to separate your essay into paragraphs not just one huge paragraph before Mr.B-G reads and grades this essay. other than that I thought this author did a really nice job.
1. i think that kim values her iphone 5 more than her saturday nights, becaus she has alot more deatail about it.
ReplyDelete2.i think that kim vividly described her iphone 5. there was so much detail about it. she had waited so long to get it, abd when she got it she was bursting with excitement.
3. kimd did very well on the detail. there was just so much of it.
4 you should consider putingyour essay is to more paragraphs. when i was reading it, i started to loose my place and it started to hurt my eyes. but overall you did a very great job.
1: The author in my opinion seems to value her phone more because she put alot of detail into it.
ReplyDelete2: I think the one she describes her friday and saturday nights more vividly.
3: Her overall strenth was the detail.
4: You should consider putting it into paragraphs.
Great job!
i think that is was very good that you where writing about apple and those things
ReplyDeletekjsdfhgaskd
kim the story was really well writen i think you value your iphone 5 more tho lol but it was a good story i enjoyed reading thin great job!!!
DeleteI would value my iPhone 5 too, nice job on the essay.
ReplyDeletegreat story
ReplyDelete